Book review #3: Holding Up The Universe by Jennifer Niven (summary and spoiler free review)

Book title: Holding Up The Universe
Author: Jennifer Niven
Genre: contemporary fiction
Pages: 391
Publisher: Penguin
My rating: 3/5

SPOILER FREE!

I'm going to be frank. The only reason I picked up this book was because I had read another book by Niven called All The Bright Places, which I absolutely loved. I read it maybe more than a year ago and It's still my favorite. So that is why, obviously, I had high expectations for this book.
Maybe a little too high.

The book is about a teenage girl named Libby Strout, whose mother had passed away a few years ago. Not knowing how to cope with her death, Libby began finding her comfort in food and spiraling backwards, without really knowing the consequences. Soon, she was titled 'America's fattest teen' and she dropped out of school and shifted her house. Her dad was supportive and real and over all- a perfect character. Maybe even too perfect.
When Libby starts going for therapy and begins following diets (determined to get back on track mainly for her dad's sake), she is finally ready to go back to her old school.

Enters the second main character of the book- Jack Masselin. Jack is a typical high school boy; or as English sitcoms say 'the boy everyone wants to be.' He has nice hair. A fairly good face and even though I've never seen him, the way Niven describes him...just makes me fall in love with his appearance. But there's one slight problem with Jack. He cannot recognize faces. Not his parents. Not his friends. Not his siblings.
Until I read this book, I didn't know a disorder like this actually existed. But it does and it's called Prosopagnosia (or face blindness). THIS IS REAL. I am not even kidding. In extreme cases, the person cannot even recognize their own face. Imagine looking into a mirror and turning back and then not being able to picture what you just saw!
Now, imagine feeling that way for every single person you ever meet, every single day of your life! People who have this disorder often remember their close ones by memorizing their unchangeable characteristics (such as hair colour, eye colour, or certain distinguishable habits). Guess who else has prosopagnosia? Brad Pitt. Yes, you read that absolutely right. Go on, google it if you like.

Most books that leave a reverberation on people, often have a very strong message to put across. And one thing that is really appreciable about this book, is that it throws light on two important subjects, not just one.
1) Libby experiences trouble in school and in life, in general because of her weight. Subject #1 is body shame. 
2) Jack doesn't tell anybody about his disorder and in fact, it takes him a while to understand it fully before he finally confides in Libby. Subject #2 is prosopagnosia. 

Reading this book was mainly gripping because like I said before, I hadn't heard of prosopagnosia before this. But, that being said, I think the individuals emotions could have been better written and more powerfully put across. Libby is strong, fierce and tries her best to be fearless. But, even the strongest people do sometimes have break downs. This book doesn't have any.

Jack, like any guy next door, tries being cool and covers up all his feelings behind a smiling face and sarcastic humour. But, he can't recognize faces for God's sake! That's not something that happens to every other guy. That is earth shattering and heart breaking and throat wrenching enough to remove a lot of different emotions out of someone. Number one on that list being anger and frustration. But no, no such emotions were portrayed.
Her characters are strong, loyal and loud, but just not real enough. And that's funny because the main reason why All The Bright Places is one of the best books I've read is because her characters are real as hell. I fell in love with them.

But Libby and Jack? I like them. The only problem is, they're just mere characters on the pages of my book...nothing else.
Another thing I disliked about the book was it's ending. It was simply too abrupt. It was almost like Niven just didn't know what else to do with the two of them so she decided to end the book. Not in a cliffhanger way. Just in a 'I should finish this book'  kind of way. Almost as though she reached a deadline. I would call the ending a real disappointment. I literally flipped the page with the expectation of another chapter and I was like 'what? It's over?'

I'd give the content 4/5. But, because of the writing and just...something that lacked, over all I would give the book 3/5. You can read it if you're interested in knowing how a person who is body shamed feels. Or how a person with prosopagnosia feels.
But, you should know that Libby and Jack, unfortunately, will leave you once the book is over.

Book review #2: Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (spoiler free and spoiler sections)

Book: Carry On
Author: Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fiction
Publisher: Macmillan
Pages: 528
My rating: 2  1/2 out of 5.


SPOILER FREE!

To discuss this book, the first thing you'll need to know is that even though this book is NOT a sequel to Fangirl, it does, definitely come after it. If you're reading this book before reading Fangirl, well...don't?
Speaking of Fangirl, the gist of it is that the protagonist- Cath is a first year college student who loves writing fanfiction online. She writes about Simon and Baz which are from her favorite books (Simon Snow series) written by Gemma T. Leslie. So basically, the Simon Snow series and Gemma and everything is just made up by Rowell which is actually really smart and original. In Fangirl, a series of extracts and quotes from her fanfcition is given through out the book which gives a really nice touch to it.
After Fangirl, apparently Rowell hadn't had enough of Simon and Baz so she decided to write a whole other book on them.
One small thing that I really like about the book is that Fangirl or Cath or any of the characters weren't mentioned even once throughout Carry On. Originality.


Before writing this review, I was reading a few reviews online and a lot of people have called this book a Harry Potter rip off. Frankly, while reading the book, I did think of HP a couple of times but I hate comparing anything to HP because it seems like an insult.
That being said, just for the sake of explaining this book a little better, I will compare a few things to HP. However, it is nothing like if you're a HP fan you will like this book and blah blah.

Carry On is magical. The book has five character narrations which might seem like a lot, but in the end, it is what makes the book. Simon, the protagonist is from a world of Normals (non 'magick' folks). He is brought into the world of Mages (magick folks) by The Mage. This sounds a lot like how Harry lived among the Muggles and was then brought into the world of witches and wizards, eh? Okay, so the character of The Mage is very confusing. For the first 100 pages or so you'll just be like, Mage who?
The Mage is basically the man who runs Watford school of Magicks. (a cartoon version of Dumbledore). While Dumbledore screams royalty, loyalty and authority...The Mage is the complete opposite. His voice is confusing and frankly, annoying. Half the time, he seems like a teenage boy trying to figure out his life.
Anywho, the world of Mages is threatened by an evil power that consumes magic from magicks around him and gains his own power through that. (like how dementors suck on happiness, The Humdrum sucks magic.)
The surprising and nail biting fact about the Humdrum is that he looks exactly like a 11 year old version of Harry Potter.
Oh wait, I meant Simon. 11 year old version of Simon. Oops.
Simon, therefore, is the 'chosen one' to kill the Humdrum. Chosen one. Haha. I'm not even going to. Why he is the chosen one and why The Humdrum looks like him...nobody has any idea. Not even Rainbow Rowell, I think.
Even though the character narrations are really really good, the plot is so pointless. This is the kind of book where the entire story depends upon the climax and before the climax, you cannot judge it. That's exactly why, it was such a disappointment when the 450 pages or so were leading to a climax and the climax ended up being unsatisfactory.
Besides the writing and the plot, the backbone of the book is its characters.
Simon Snow is a confused boy who cannot get his magic right half the time. He has magic inside of him that he does not know how to control or use. His best friend Penelope is my personal favorite. She has an opinionated voice that neatly covers up her narration through out the book. Simon hates his roommate Baz, who he is sure is a vampire. But obviously, nobody else knows this in the entire school which is frankly way too convenient for the plot's sake. Baz and Simon have that cute love- hate relationship which is really entertaining to read. One thing that can be said about Rowell inspite of her terrible plot, is that she definitely knows how to write dialogues. Her dialogues are crisp and witty and sound casual and natural all at the same time. The next narration is by Agatha, who is Simon's girlfriend, until Simon sees her holding hands with Baz and breaks up with her. Simon's relationship with Agatha I think could have been explained a little more in detail. Even though the relationship seemed very realistic, no one ends up explaining why Baz and Agatha were holding hands in the first place! Agatha is the most human character of all five. But that being said, I found her a little too on the bitchy side. She is selfish. Ungrateful. She takes all the people in her life for granted. She doesn't really want to have magick but I can respect that because there are strong reasons behind it.
Even though her character was different from all the others, I found her very...how do I put this subtly? fake. I found her really fake. I love seeing a character's good side and flawed side...trust me. But Agatha just seemed like...like Rowell wanted us to dislike her. And if that was the case, then good job. I disliked her.

For me, a good book is one which has character development and and strong voices. Baz and Agatha definitely had that. We see Baz struggle with his feelings and his thoughts in general. We see him feeling scared and frustrated and at times even happy about being a vampire. We see so many sides of his personality.
At the same time, Agatha grows with the book as well. Her confusion about whether or not she likes magick is not so obvious in the beginning but I love how smoothly and clearly it grows through out the book. Oh my God, it was so beautifully written. These two characters really just pop out of the book and you're left with that amazing feeling that you just somehow know them.

Only because characterization and writing is more important to me rather than story and plot, I could finish this book. If you judge a book like how I do (on the basis of characters) and if you've read fangirl and don't know if you should read this one, then go ahead and pick it up. You will love the writing!
BUT, if you read a book for its story and plot alone, then don't waste your time on this one. Even if you've read Fangirl, trust me, it's not incomplete without this book.
If I could rate this book only on the basis of characters, I would give it 4/5.

SPOILER ALERT!

1) After the first half or so of the book, we see Baz confused and frustrated about his feelings for Simon. Even though he admits his love, he's not really keen on portraying them. But the point is that we as readers know that he is in love.
On the other hand, even though Simon thinks and talks so much about Baz, he has never admitted in his narration that he might have feelings for him. And I don't know if this is just me, but I was really looking forward to reading Simon admit his feelings (even if it was just to himself). Really really looking forward to that writing.
And then the first kiss scene was written in Baz's narration. I was SO annoyed. We knew how Baz felt. I wanted to read Simon's thoughts. I wanted to read what made Simon do what he did. It almost felt like Rowell wrote it that way because well...it was just so much easier.
That was one thing that I really disliked.

2) Speaking of Simon, Baz and relationships, I felt like any sane person reading this book would think Penny (Penelope) was jealous of Simon's relationship with Agatha. Or was that just me? I was waiting for a narrative where Penny would give even the slightest of hints that yes...she did have a thing for Simon. But that didn't happen.
I'm all for 'a boy and girl can be just friends,' but it seemed like Rowell wanted Penny and Simon to remain friends only because Agatha, Baz and Simon has already created a love triangle. And two would be too much to handle!
I'm a big fan of unrequited love stories, so a subtle narration in Penny's part wouldn't have hurt.

3) Let's not forget the little 6th narrative which was given by Lucy, The Mage's wife. Initially after reading the book, I kind of appreciated the mystery that Lucy gave to the book. But then when I really thought of it, again, the suspense that her narration was leading to was actually so predictable. I think the only fun part about the narration was when Penny's mum shows Agatha a school photo of her's where she's with Lucy and Davy (The Mage) because that's the scene where you go 'ooooooooooh now it makes sense!' and I love scenes like that.
Maybe instead of writing from The Mage and Lucy's perspective, only Lucy's would have been more than enough (with a few changes, of course.)

The characters were so lovely and each one of them, even if they didn't play that big a role, were written so so well.
 Rainbow Rowell has originality and depth in her writing that makes the reader want to finish the book even if, like me, they don't like the plot or the story as a whole!

Thank you!
Happy reading :)

Book review #1: Just Listen by Sarah Dessen

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Book title: Just Listen
Author: Sarah Dessen
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Publisher: Puffin
Pages: 371
My rating: 2 out of 5. 

The protagonist of the story, Annabel Greene is very relatable. At one glance, you'd think her life is perfect and that she has it all- model looks, great friends, a full and happy family. But on the very first page of the book, the author makes it clear that looks can be deceiving. Between her two older sisters- Kristen, who is bubbly and full of life and always has too much to say and Whitney, who is breathtakingly beautiful and smart, Annabel has always felt left out, trying to stick in 'somewhere in between.' 
And to top it all off, she loses her friends to one unspeakable summer where something terrible happens. While the characters are neatly crafted out and Annabel is well understood, Kristen's character starts feeling unnecessary and irrelevant to the story somewhere in between. Whitney, on the other hand, has a big role to play in the story formation and is probably more significant than the Antagonist- Owen Amstrong. 

Owen Armstrong's role in the book is easy- he is honest and straight forward and goes well with Annabel's character who is in turn shy and silent.
Annabel finds it hard to open up to her family and her lost friends but something surprising happens ever since Owen enters her life- she stops hiding and starts speaking up. With Owen's easy attitude and realistic approach, he starts making an impact on Annabel's life unknowingly and even becomes somewhat of an inspiration. But at the same time, I thought his character felt a little too perfect which made him seem more like he was created only to support Annabel's character and less like a real human being. 
Inspite of a good suspense created by the author, the story as a whole lacked twists and became monotonous after a point. 
Even though it is clear that Annabel loses her best friend (Clarke) at the very beginning and becomes friend's with the devil and it-girl Sophie, the author keeps trying to emphasize their roles in the book and keeps trying to show how forlorn Annabel is, making it feel like the story is on pause half way through. 

And yet, even though the book moves at a slow pace, it is an interesting read because every character's background is well explained and solid and goes really well in contrast with Annabel's. 
What I liked the most about the story was that it showed how slowly things started changing in Annabel's life, making all the events seem very realistic. The author didn't jump to a conclusion or settle things too quickly, instead she made me feel like I was a part of Annabel's life, like I was watching her grow up through her room's window. 

She learns her lessons and grows up as a person. She stops hiding because of music and Owen. It doesn't seem like the main character is Annabel, it just seems like she's the narrator because the author has placed enough emphasis on characters like Sophie, Clarke, Whitney, Owen and even Annabel's mother (Grace), to make it feel like we're going through a little of all their lives, making the book even more confluent and enjoyable. 

It is a good read for contemporary lovers like me, however if you're looking for a book with twists and turns and major suspense, then don't pick it up.   

This is my first review ever but I'm hoping to do more of these, so let me know what you think. I tried my best to not add any spoilers but forgive me if I have unintentionally done so.
If you do end up reading the book or already have, tell me what your thoughts are on it. (link below)
Thank you!  

http://www.amazon.in/Just-Listen-Sarah-Dessen/dp/0141322918/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1469896234&sr=1-1&keywords=just+listen 

Five stages of loss

Denial. 

No. 
She’s not gone. 
I’m telling them, but they aren’t listening to me.
They didn’t know her, you know? Like how I did. I mean…I am her best friend. I’m sorry. Was. I was her best friend. She would have told me…I would have seen it. She’s gone right now…but she’s coming back. I know it. I can feel it. The universe is bending and when it’s straight and it’s all right, she’ll be here. This universe needs her. She knew that. She was happy…she smiled all the time. She knew how much she meant to people. 
No. 
She’s here. I can feel her presence within me. Everything about her was so light…it was like she floated. And if she could float, then she couldn’t drown. When the colours are gone and the whispers are here, her voice will be the loudest and clearest and she’ll tell me what she always does, “Oh honey, you wish.” 
No. 
She’s talking to me right now. She’s teasing me. She’s looking at me and thinking, “What? You really believed I was gone?” She was strong. She was strong and fierce and unshakable. The earth could shatter and break and burn to the ground, but she? She would be still. She would be still and silent and beautiful.  I knew her and I knew what she would and wouldn’t do. If something was wrong…I could have sensed it. She’s sitting next to me, with her right leg crossed over her left, her chin high, her eyes flaming and she’s laughing at me. She’s here all right. She’s here. 
No. 
I won’t accept anything else.

Guilt.

I could’ve stopped it. 
I could have held her hand and pulled her back up. I know I could have. 
I should have looked at the light in her eyes and I should have seen it fading. I should have seen them become empty sockets. I should have seen the fire burn out. 
How did I not?
I could’ve stopped it. 
I should have spent the whole night making it better. I should have heard the silence on the other end.  If only I knew. If only I saw it. All the things I should have done. And who else would have? Who else would have pulled her up? I can hear her telling me now…I can hear all the things she said and she quoted and all the things I left unnoticed. All those things I should have looked at closely. “And I would never want to see the light in your eyes burn out. Because without light, what would we have?” 
She wasn’t quoting a book. She was quoting herself. How did I not see it? This is my fault. This is all my fault. 
I could’ve stopped it. 
I should have seen the dust and wiped it clean. I should have seen the shadows and been the sun. I should have seen the dark and brought a candle. I should have seen the fire and blown it out. How did I miss it? I was that one person who could have told her, “No. No, you are stronger than this. You can stop that voice in your head. You can control it.” And I didn’t. I let it slip out of my hands. I let her slip.
If only. 
If only I had seen it. If only I had paid more attention. 
Maybe she would still be here.
Maybe…I could’ve stopped it. 

Anger.

How could she do that to me?
How dare she leave me alone in this stupid, stupid, broken world? We were in this together, right? We always had been. And then she left…she escaped…leaving me here to rot. 
She was selfish. All she cared about was herself! She left and she didn’t look back. She didn’t even stop to look back. 
What did she think? That after she leaves everything will be perfect?
As if the sun would still shine. As if the clock would still tick. As if the world would still be full and perfect. 
How could she do that to me?
The ripple effect. 
She always spoke about how everything we do in life…has a gazillion consequences. About how everything we do, good or bad, makes a difference not just in our lives…but in so many. She was the one who taught me to think about the ripple effect our actions and words could cause.
Didn’t she f******* think about what ripple effect she would cause?
Didn’t she think about the amount of lives her actions would touch? 
HOW COULD SHE DO THAT TO ME?
HOW DARE SHE? 
Who gave her the right to fly and leave me buried? Who gave her the right to swim and let me drown? 
HOW COULD SHE DO THAT TO ME? 
I’ve spoken to her about her bitchy impulsive decisions. 
She knew. She knew she wasn’t thinking. She knew she would wake up the next day and feel better. Maybe if she ever stopped to see beyond her meaningless childish tantrums, she  could have seen us. Me. Her family. Her life. 
But that’s the thing. She didn’t. All her eyes could see was herself. Her view beyond that was dark and empty. Maybe if her f****** soul wasn’t as dark and empty as the rest of her….she would have thought about the people around her. 
I hate her. 
This is all her fault. 
She brought this on herself. 
I know now how she could do it to me. 
I was a nobody, why couldn’t she?

Depression.

Depression. 
Depression consumes you. It takes over every part of your body till you feel yourself choke. Till you feel the air caught in your lungs, suffocating you, pushing you down, closing in on you, failing you. Just like everything else.  
First you feel a rush of pain in every part of your body. Your bones, your skin, your nerves, every cell in your body. You feel miserable and all you want to do is sit in a corner, pull your legs close to your chest, close your eyes and hope to never open them again. You feel freedom in the darkness and fear in the light. You feel numb. Once the numbness settles in, everything fades out. Once the pain takes over you completely, the realization hits and you feel a rush of anger. Anger that blinds. Anger that’s so sharp you’re scared it will drive you insane. But, you let it wash over you. Because this is anger. And anger is still better than pain. Pain will weaken you. But anger? Anger will make you strong. And when you’re too tired to be angry anymore, you begin weeping. Weeping because you realize the anger did no good. You realize nothing became better because acting on your anger only makes things worse. You begin realizing things the hard way. 
After swollen eyes, broken heart and all the tears drained out from them….you feel nothing. You feel absolutely nothing. When you’re at this point, you can’t see….you can’t hear. There’s only you and the world. There’s nothing before and nothing beyond and nothing in between. Depression isn’t anger. Depression isn’t pain. Depression is feeling nothing. Depression is the deafness and the numbness. 
You’d think feeling nothing is power, and that it makes you invincible, but you’re wrong. Because once you feel nothing…there’s no coming back. There’s this big fat void. But you know what the scary part is? You don’t know how deep the void is. So if you fall…do you keep falling? Do you ever stop falling?
Do you ever land? 
It makes me wonder…was this how she was feeling before she decided to…
Maybe it wasn’t  the ‘everything’ that ended her. Maybe it was the exact opposite. Maybe it was the nothing. 
She wasn’t depressed. The depression was her. It was her mind and soul and body. It was feeding on her. 
The depression consumed her.

 

Acceptance. 

I don’t get it. 
And I don’t think I ever will. 
She’s gone and she’s not coming back and that’s not okay. It wasn’t okay for her build a wall so high, that she could have never climbed over it. 
Will I ever forget her? No. We weren’t just best friends. We were soul sisters. We were blood and bones. But then again, will I ever forgive her? I doubt it. 
So how do you ever accept something like this? I don’t know. 
There are a lot of things I don’t know. There are a lot of things I never will. 
But the thing is that, it wasn’t about me. It wasn’t for me to understand. All this while I blamed her because I kept thinking…how could she leave me here alone to fix this puzzle? She’s the missing piece, and if she’s not there…how do I fix it? 
But that’s the thing. When the rope was around her neck and the stool was cold below her feet, she wasn’t thinking about me or her family. She was thinking about herself. 
No. There’s no moving on. There’s no erasing what happened. 
There is what there is and I just have to learn to live with it. 
If you think about it, that’s exactly what she should have done too. She should have learnt. She should have taken all her broken pieces and asked for someone to help her fix them. Ask for someone to help her mend. 
She always told me, “I hate red roses. What’s so special about red? Black roses are what are special. They’re bold and fierce and final.” Bold and fierce and final. Just like her.
So now I’ve inked a red rose with perfect black. The kind of black which leaves nothing behind. The kind of black that takes everything with it. I can finally see why she liked black so much. Black is honest. Black isn’t doubtful.  
I place the rose gently in front of her grave. Only one petal touching her grey stone. I read her epitaph which I had the honor to write. She would have loved it, and why wouldn’t she have? They were exactly what she wanted. 
“May your eye go to the Sun, To the wind your soul…You are all the colors in one, at full brightness.”  (Jennifer Niven)

She always wanted to fly. Always wanted to be amongst the kites and birds and clouds and even the tip of the trees. And now finally, she can.

~Naqiyah Hasan

What I've learnt about writing so far

1. Write about something you know.

By this, I don't mean that you should put a hold on your imagination and only write about things you've seen or felt. But...but, it's important to know that you have to truly understand what you've written. For instance, you can't just make up a poem that sounds fancy because it rhymes. The poem has to make sense. If not to the entire world, then at least to you.
You have to put yourself in the shoes of your character that you're writing. You have to become your character entirely. This doesn't just count for your main character, it counts for each and every character that you write.
What's the point of creating a character, if you yourself as a writer, don't even understand him/ her? You can't expect other people to understand your character, if you don't.

2. Your writing changes with your method.

You can't expect your style of writing while typing and while manually writing, to be the same. Typing and writing, even though both are accepted and equally glorious, are not the same. Both need the same talent of writing, yet, both make all the difference in the world. I am mostly a typist. Writing manually requires more patience and more time. Hats off to people who can do both with equal ease!

3. You have to be comfortable with what you write.

I am most comfortable while writing in 1st person: I, my, me, we, our. Being able to write in both 1st person and 3rd person with equal beauty is difficult. This is one important thing I learned while writing my book. Since I usually write in 1st person, I wanted to try something new by writing the second part of my story in 3rd person.
It was a task. I had to re-read everything more times than I'd like to admit. But then again, it was definitely worth it. It was a good practice as an amateur and helped me improve in what is not my biggest strength.

4. Make sure your tense is right. 

Now, before you start thinking why I would write about this, the most basic thing in English literature, hold your thought. Because, even though tense is the foundation of writing, it is also a very tricky thing. It is easier for a reader to spot a tense error, than it is for a writer. Your tenses can make or break your entire story. For this reason, it is very important to have a third person to read your story. They can give you a review as a reader and you'll be surprised by how much they can help, even if they aren't avid readers or writers.
Don't be too full of yourself to accept a mistake in your writing.

5. Don't be afraid to edit. 

While writing, if you're constantly trying to make sure everything is perfect so that you don't have to re-read it, then you're not going to go a long way. Being confident about your work is important, but even the best authors in the world have to re-read their work and edit it. This means you might have to re-read it even ten times (or more, if needed) to make sure your end result is perfect. While writing in your flow, even if you notice that you've made a mistake, don't stop. Let the words flow. Then, after you're done with a page, or a chapter, re-read the entire thing slowly and carefully. Reading it aloud helps to catch your mistakes even more easily.


6. Starting from the beginning is okay.

You're not always going to be fully content with what you write. And for me, being satisfied with my work is the most important thing. That is why, when I'm not happy with something, I delete the entire thing and re-write it. If I'm not happy with it  yet again, I delete it and re-write.
You can't be lazy. You can't expect other people to appreciate your work, if you yourself are not thoroughly satisfied with it. Don't write just for the sake of writing. Mean what you write. Stand by your words.
When you're done with writing, always ask yourself this question: would I be happy with this work, if someone else had written it?

7. Read more than you write. 

If you don't read, you cannot write. It's as simple as that. The best form of learning how to write and becoming better, is to keep reading books.
There is no such thing as perfect when it comes to writing. There's always place for improvement. The day you decide that you're done with reading, is the day you should stop writing.

I recently wrote a novel called 'Feather People' and these are some very important things I learned in the entire process. I am going to remember these things every time I write something; then whether it is a school essay or an article, or poem, or book, is irrelevant.  
I hope this relatable to everyone who is passionate about writing! 

My book is about the life of four different girls. It puts light on how every action of a person, affects every small part of their life. It's about how big a role coincidences and destiny can play in one's life. It is about courage, secrets and hope. 
You can buy my book internationally on Amazon. It is also available on Flipkart, Bookadda, Infibeam. As an e-book, you can purchase it from Amazon, kindle. 

Black & white

 In a pocket full of lies
She picked out black from white
She wore her frown upside down
And her shoes inside out. 
She saw the colours in the void
And filled them with spaces of blame
And when she closed her eyes, it was all still the same. 
The brightness was magnified, but the darkness was too
And when it wore out, then it would all be for me and you. 
She saw something no one did,
Was hope really that wrong?
In the words that followed
She wrote her own song. 
Maybe it was more than that,
Maybe she just couldn’t see
But how was she supposed to understand? 
In a world full of yellow, red and blue,
And a million other in her sight,
All she saw was black and white.  

I couldn’t stop looking at her. I wondered if she could see me staring at her from the corner of her eye, but even though I considered that she could, I still held my gaze firmly. She seemed tired after she’d told me what she had done and I remember trying so hard not to show anything on my face, to be completely unreadable, and I hoped I’d succeeded. I didn’t know what I was feeling towards her. Is this normal? Looking at someone so much and then not being able to look away? Me being me, so unfazed and never confused, it felt weird to think about someone so much constantly. My god, she was so beautiful. There was nothing on her mind that those beautiful eyes of hers already didn’t show. She had pretty, long eye lashes that kissed her cheeks lovingly every time she closed her eyes. She tucked a strand of her brown hair carefully behind her ear and I could almost see all of it happening in slow motion. I think about what it would be like to get closer to her, what it would feel like and I question my level of sanity. I’ve definitely lost it. But even if I did like her, would she ever like anyone like me? I’d caught her eye a couple of times, and then both of us had just looked away, like nothing happened. And then it hit me, I was so fathomlessly in love with her and she was so ineffably beautiful. But she was selfless and I was self webbed, she was caring and I was ignorant, she was careful and I was reckless, she was shy and I was stupid and I erased the thought completely. Nah, there was no way she’d ever like me. She looked at me suddenly, and I looked away almost abruptly and I only hoped I didn’t make it too obvious. 

I could feel his eyes on me and it was so hard to not look and check. He’d been staring for so long now and I began feeling extremely self conscious. I tucked a fallen strand of hair behind my ear and tried but failed to imagine what he might be thinking. For the first time in forever, I’d been able to read his usually unreadable face and if I wasn’t wrong, just for a brief second, he looked taken aback after I told him what I’d done. And now here I was, thinking about him. I was doing that I a lot these days and I wondered where these sudden feelings were coming from. I seriously questioned my level of sanity. In spite of all, it was hard not to admit that it was nice to get attention from such a good looking guy. But maybe I was just being paranoid? How could HE like ME? I mean he was popular and smart and he had this reputation and I was, well….me. Plain, old me. And more over, why was I even thinking about him so much? Did I have feelings for him? I didn’t know. One thing I loved admiring about him is how graceful he was. He never stumbled or tripped or stammered. He was sure and comfortable with who he was. He managed to make even his nervousness somehow look smooth and unfazed. It would be an insult to describe him as anything less than perfect, because that’s what he was: perfect. Oh and that small scar below his right eye, it was like it was made and shaped especially for him. And that’s exactly what made me wonder, why me? Because he was graceful and I was messy, he was straight forward and I was hiding, he cared too little and I cared too much, he was sure and I was confused, he was funny and I was boring, he was talented and I was so ordinary. But because I was me and because I was messy, because I was stupid and I did everything that was totally wrong for me….I liked him. 
I couldn’t do it anymore, I finally turned and looked at him, and he looked away carefully, like I was just a passing gaze.